Sep 6, 2013 - Uncategorized    2 Comments

Why no call for me, Pope Francis?


Dear Pope Francis,

So, I’m a little irked. Every time I’m out and about on social media these days I see yet another story on a phone call you’ve placed to some random person.

They’re starting to add up.  To the point where someone has developed an etiquette guide for when the Pope calls.

But I, alas, have not had an occasion to refer to that guide. Even though I’ve memorized it. Backwards. In Latin. And Aramaic.

I’m nothing if not dedicated. This is post number 67 after all. Sixty-seven posts! All to you! Granted, I don’t make your shoes or handle your newspaper delivery, but, still.

Maybe my posts have given you pause? OK, there was this one, but I was annoyed that you hadn’t gone further. And there was the time I wrote a post about Cardinal Dolan, but, it was meant in a helpful way. You know, to get him to stop fixating on sex (which, if you ask me, is becoming somewhat of a problem for him and should really be brought up during his next Confession). 

Is it the pressure to read The Universe Story for book club?  Too many pages? Not enough Latin or instances of consubstantiation? We can choose a new book if you want. Or a movie? Just, please, not The Song of Bernadette. I saw that way too many times during catechism. And then again at university when the priest in charge of the Catholic group on campus thought it was the only appropriate thing to show 18-year-olds. (I didn’t last long in that group.)

I guess what I’m saying is, this blog is meant as a dialogue, so, you know, feel free to dialogue. Nothing is stopping you! I even have comments enabled and everything. You don’t even have to phone. You can type! On your iPad! I know you have one. I saw it in a media clip.

OK. See. I’ve now communicated that I’m open to dialogue. A phone call even. So, the ball is in your Sistine Chapel.

Your friend,


P.S. Other readers of this blog: If you want to show the Pope how it’s done, feel free to comment on posts. They are most welcome, and maybe, just maybe, he might drop a line if he sees that it’s OK.

P.P.S. No trolling. If you have something mean to say in a comment — go leave it on Cardinal Dolan’s Facebook page.


  • Well said! Pope Francis, please be courageous and audacious! Read the Universe Story! The book’s message is simple yet vast.

    • See, Pope Francis? Commenting is easy! And fun! And each comment is worth 3 years off of purgatory. OK. Maybe that’s a stretch. But it has to be worth something.

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